


Truth

by WhenISayRun_Run



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Battle of Hogwarts, Death, Grief/Mourning, Journal, M/M, Rest of the Characters Are Only Mentioned, Severus Left Something Behind, The Untold Story of Severus, Undying Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 06:24:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6041506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenISayRun_Run/pseuds/WhenISayRun_Run
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus sacrified himself for Harry during the battle.<br/>Five years later Harry finds a small leather journal containing the final words of his lover along with the untold story of his lover's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Truth

'Harry! Kill him!' I shout and set the Dark Lord's cloak on fire. A distraction, a necessary one.  
The 'Avada Kedavra' that was meant for Harry turned to me, I feel it hitting my chest, I see green, I can hear my breathes, and everything faded away... I feel nothing...

The war is finally over.

_______________________________________________

_'I know you'll be the death of me, no doubt.' Severus smiled at the cheeky boy in his arms._

_'Shut up.' Harry said angrily, he didn't like it when Severus said such things._

_'You know that I would do anything for you?'_

_'Fight for me. And don't ever dare to die.'_

_'I can't help it if I will.'_

_'If you'll think of leaving me... Please don't... Don't be so frozen. Do you love me?'_

_'Always.'_

_'Then survive.'_

_______________________________________________

'Severus!' Harry called and ran to the body of his lover, trying to wake him and refusing to let go. Voldemort is dead. The war is finally over. Severus is lying cold in his arms, frozen in time. Harry didn't even realized he was screaming.

Sun was rising, people gathered to see him and what's left of the burning corpse of Voldemort, Ron and Hermione threw them away. They tried to comfort Harry though the knowledge about his relationship with Severus hit them like a whip.  
McGonagall tried too, they ended up moving him with Severus to the Great Hall.  
There was no one else to mourn the black eyed hero but him, there was no one who loved him but him. Severus was, is, his. Forever will be.  
The beautiful grave was not even partly beautiful as Severus' soul was. Or his body, in Harry's eyes.  
The time was all blurred, like his life are a show playing on a screen.

A horror show.

_______________________________________________

It has been five years since the final battle, when Severus sacrificed himself for Harry. He was still grieving, still alone. No one could replace Severus.  
The day he woke up and realized it's been five years he decided for the first time to go look over Severus' stuff.

Spinner's End was so much like Severus, bit gloomy with its own magic, even smelt like him, and Harry broke all over again. His tears moving the dust from the floor.

That night he laid in his bed, the small black leather journal with the silver writing of the word 'truth' in a fancy font on it's front.  
He took a deep breath and opened it.  
The first pages were a letter.

_'Dear Harry._  
_I am writing this for absolutely no reason since you will probably never see it since it will be well hidden forever in my library. If you got to know me so good that you'll look in that particular book, I was not wrong to give my heart to you._  
_I firstly want to thank you for everything you brought to my life. I never expected to fall for you so deeply when Albus put me to watch over you during your special summer stay at Hogwarts._  
_I need to write it because I need a release, kind of a tale to move on._  
_You and you sentiments, probably would name it 'The Life of Severus Snape' or maybe 'The Prince's Tale' or something like that._  
_You probably wonder about my regular attitude... Well, if you are reading it, I'm probably dead, so I will use this book to give you the truth and truth only, the war is coming closer and I have no time for sarcasm._  
_You sleep here next to me and I can hear your breaths... You're so beautiful. You'll probably call me frozen, forever, because I guess I died for you. For you, not because of you, remember that. It was my choice and not your fault._  
_I first of all must say, that the content of this journal is not pleasant, even more than I was./_  
_When I will feel that I can finish expressing my feelings towards you, I will tell you about the journal._  
_I love you._  
_Purely, insanely, love you._  
_You are everything I have, and I am so sorry I had to let go. I had no choice._  
_It was you and the world or the Dark Lord and me... Voldemort... I dare to say, write, his name now._  
_If there was a chance for us to live our happy ever after, believe me, I would take it, but I can't keep running. Many people's lives are on stake, and I had to do this minor sacrifice. You won't call it minor, but you are probably the only one to care._  
_If you will never find this journal, hell, it tears me apart to think of it, not because my story will left in the shadows, but because you will never know why. I did it for you._  
_I hope that when we'll meet again you'll still love me enough to be with me forever. Forgive me, my love._  
_It is so hard to know that this is probably the last thing you'll hear from me. Maybe never. It's for time and fate to decide.  
_ _The journal... Almost forgot. I found a way to preserve my memories in it without making it a horcrux. You'd probably kill me all over again when you'll hear that I could have made a horcrux and I would survive, but I rather die as myself than live with half a soul.  
_ _You can flip through my life, it's not all here but the important stuff is._

_Please forgive me._

_And stay safe._  
_And don't do anything stupid.  
_ _If you'll do anything stupid I'll kill you.  
_ _Don't dare to meet me before time._

_You know I stand behind my words. I'll kill you._

_Love,_

_Severus.'_

Harry was crying so hard that he thought the tears might drown him. Sobs were uncontrollable.  
Damn it Severus!  
He flipped to the first page. It was a memory of his parents fighting. He was in the corner, so young, a bony and pale boy with dark hair and a horrified look watched two adults, his parents, fighting, as his father smashed a bottle on his mother's shoulder. Her scream was deafening.

He tried to hug the boy, but he was sliding right through him.

There were many of Severus' parents fighting, yelling at him, his runaways to the place where Lily always was willing to calm him, their hours playing together, the talking. Severus left him notes as 'hope I didn't scar you forever.' Under the one where Sirius tried to kill Severus, who was starting to look like the Severus Harry knew. He saw the fights with Lily and the Marauders, he saw the love for Dark Arts and Potions, he saw Severus' time as a Death Eater, standing over a crying woman and casting a Cruciatus with a small smirk.

The note under read:'sorry that you had to see it, but this is part of my history.'

He saw the night Severus delivered the Prophecy, the night Harry's parents died, all those years as a spy, he saw himself, he saw nightmares, he saw whipping and curses and trauma, he saw his Severus, their time together, that was too much. There were things that felt like they happened yesterday. Five years. Fuck. The last memory was from the last day of April, when they were just sitting in a silent hug.

'I didn't put anything too intimate in case it will not find it's way to you. You have these in your mind. And heart.' The note under the small screen said. The screens grew into living situations and srhunk back to screens.

This was Severus in a book.

But a book cannot kiss him. A book cannot talk to him in the deep voice of his lover.

The last page was another message.

_'I hope you don't love me less now. This were my life. I knew I will never pass the last battle, but having someone to pass my story to was more than I could ever wish. Harry, the biggest gift of my life, my joy, please don't hate me. I know you are not used to these words, but I love you too much and it is literally now or never.  
_ _You say that if I'd die for you I'd be the most frozen, heatless man you'll know but I know that if I'll die for you, my death won't be in vain._

_Please, love, forgive me for everything. Forgive me for my past and for what now is my future, but for you my future, my death, is past._

_Move on. Find love. I never wanted to ask you to do such thing, and as much as I'd like you to be mine and mine only for ever, I also want you to be happy. Build the family you want, the one I cannot give you. Don't be sorry for me, love, I did what I had to. My part is over._

_Love to forever and beyond, your evil admirer,_

_Severus.'_

The page was stained in tears, they were not Harry's. They belonged to a great man that was long gone. They belonged to a hero.

_______________________________________________

It has been years since Severus' death. Harry married to a man he loved, though not the one he loved the most, not the man of his dreams.

Every day he woke and hoped to find smooth black hair, dark eyes, hooked nosed and a countless amount of sarcasm of the pillow next to him, instead he only found the second resort. His second choice. 'Second choice' is an amazing lover, amazing man, yet, not half amazing as Severus was. Harry couldn't bare the thought of children without a drop of Severus' genes in them, but 'second choice' never heard of Severus, his absolute first choice. If Harry could pick... If only he could pick.

His husband agreed to not having children. They lived nicely. Ron and Hermione had several children now.

'Not a Snape, not my child.' Harry kept thinking. Potter-Snape, should be his relationship status now.

_______________________________________________

No one ever though that after all Harry survived, it would be a simple reminder of what Death Eaters used to be, that will take his life. Harry was on a mission with Ron on his job as an Auror, one 'Avada Kedavra' and he felt the world fading away, he could hear his own breathes, green light flashing, and his body falling into void.

He was only a year younger than what Severus was in his death. Severs was thirty seven, Harry thirty six.

_______________________________________________

'What a fool I was to think you'd actually listen and wouldn't do anything stupid!' Someone said before Harry even opened his eyes. He wasn't focused.

'I was on duty-' he looked up and blinked twice. 'Sev?!'

'Who else did you expect? We both know it's me you were longing to see when you come here.' The beautiful smirk that followed the words made Harry delighted.

'Is this an illusion?'  
Severus helped him up from the floor and held his hand.

'No, I am just taking you for a short walk. We'll be there in few minutes, love. Welcome to your new home.' Severus said warmly.

_______________________________________________

And Harry finally arrived home, his family was there, few of his friends, and he was safe and sound in his lover's arms at last.

Forever.

**Author's Note:**

> The letter was inspired from Frozen by Within Temptation, from there, what happened happened...


End file.
